Well, here’s the long awaited synopsis! I’d really appreciate some feedback on this. It’s about the right length, 512 words.
Rebecca Turner loses her job in a small business and joins her parents in a move to the village of Wealdbrook in Kent. Her father takes up a role as assistant pastor in a large fundamentalist church. Rebecca is a disillusioned Christian. She is plagued by frequent headaches.
Benjamin Lawrence, a local resident in Wealdbrook, intends to build a science park nearby. He is wealthy as a result of licensing an advanced GPS algorithm. He lives with his sister, Phee, after the death of his wife and children in a car accident some years previously.
Rebecca joins the church, becoming a ‘born again’ Christian within weeks. Radicalised as a result, she becomes an activist on behalf of the church ensuring the derailment of Benjamin’s plans, believing them to be anti-Christian.
The material Rebecca was given about the science park by her church was false. On discovering this, Rebecca swallows her pride and apologises unreservedly. Benjamin eventually accepts her apology. Rebecca’s uncertainty with her church leads her to meet Thomas Wilson, a less fundamentalist member of the church. Thomas notes her headaches and suggests she visits a Doctor.
Rebecca and Benjamin build a tentative relationship and debate the relative merits of science and religion. Rebecca begins to question her faith. Benjamin ponders the emptiness in his own life.
Benjamin asks Rebecca to accompany him to a conference in San Francisco. Rebecca declines, fearing the reaction of her parents and her church, but her work colleagues encourage her to go and she relents. Thomas also backs her decision.
The pastor of the church is financially indebted to a property developer, who is funding the church in exchange for the church blocking certain planning proposals. The pastor arranged for Benjamin’s plans to be thwarted.
As Rebecca’s suspicions grow she is ostracised by her church. She rows with her father over accompanying Benjamin. Benjamin discovers that Rebecca’s headaches have been ongoing since childhood and persuades her to visit a Doctor. She is sent for an MRI scan.
Rebecca and Benjamin travel to San Francisco. Rebecca discovers that Benjamin is far wealthier than she suspected. As the frustrations between them come to a head they are able to finally be honest about their feelings for each other.
During the return trip Rebecca has a crisis of confidence in her Christian faith. On attending her church she is accused of sexual immorality and excluded from membership. In outrage she denies her faith too. She drives away, furious.
Rebecca’s headaches are caused by an undiagnosed brain aneurysm. This ruptures, causing her to crash her car. Severely injured, she is rushed to hospital by air ambulance. Benjamin abandons a crucial meeting to get to her, ruining his chance to build the science park.
With Rebecca near death, Benjamin resorts to prayer. Rebecca recovers and they reach a balance in their spiritual beliefs. Rebecca takes on the challenge of making the science park a reality, and succeeds.
Rebecca begins to reconcile with her father. He apologises, revealing he is now dealing with the dire financial situation at the church. Rebecca and Benjamin become engaged.
The synopsis certainly indicates the book is packed with “conflict” (the current “must have” amongst literary agents according to my friends now treading this path).
Some thoughts – I don’t like “some years ago” – with regards to the death of his family – I’d be more substantive – thus the reader can form an opinion on whether he’s still mourning or ready for (the potential of) a fresh start.
Phee is irrelevant in this synopsis and therefore I now think she might be irrelevant in the story, if she has a more substantive role than “shares a house with” – then the synopsis should reflect this (how does she feel about her brother’s blossoming relationship?)
I presume the choice of “science park” is deliberate as it sets up the science v religion frisson, it also, I’m guessing, being vague about what kind of science might be conducted at said park?
Does Rebecca recover fully?
There isn’t enough info in the synopsis to indicate why Rebecca’s father is involved in the finances of the church – I’m sure there’s good reason – but in the synopsis it looks contrived.
Don’t like “Rebecca and Benjamin become engaged” – not sure why – perhaps an engagement is an “easy” thing to do – does it need something more substantive “Rebecca and Benjamin begin to make plans for their wedding”.
Feel free to make of these comments what you will – but I’m very much looking forward to reading the novel – which means the synopsis has done its job.
Thanks DaddyHoggy,
Immediate responses:
Some years ago : This is four years, so will indicate so.
Phee is not revealed to the reader as Ben’s sister initially (sorry for the spoilers!) so there is an increased frisson as Benjamin’s relationship with Rebecca grows. Rebecca doesn’t initially know who Phee is.
Phee’s character is primarily there to provide some unfounded anti-christian bigotry and also to act as a level of comic relief. She is highly suspicious of Rebecca’s motives early on and naturally very defensive of Ben. I’ll try to work this into the synopsis!
The science is kept vague and there is confusion over astronomy and astrology and an unfortunate choice of logo for the park which inflames the fundamentalist Christians…
Rebecca makes an almost full recovery. She retains a limp and a slight stutter as a result of the accident.
Rebecca’s father is unaware of the finance situation until it crashes down at the end of the book and he is left carrying the can. Rebecca is likewise unaware. Her suspicions are concerned with the misinformation she was fed over the science park.
Comment on wedding – yep, good suggestion!
My suggestion is more a psychological one. I grew up in a Christian family and was very involved in a fundamentalist church till I was 18/19. If the parents were already fairly fundamentalist and Rebecca was living with them, it would make sense that she was already part of the church. It’s like there are too many new paths here – they have moved to a new place but ALSO she has moved to a new church.
However, that’s only the synopsis and I haven’t read the full book to see how this is woven in.
I’d agree with the comments made above, and enjoyed reading the synopsis. Interestingly, there appears to be no bad guy…
What’s interesting here is that people are asking questions about the synopsis which I can’t include in the synopsis due to keeping the length.
Your questions are absolutely valid Morag, but you’ll have to read the book to find out the answers. I think I’ve covered that one reasonable well though…
And no, there’s no ‘bad guy’ as such, just the negative aspects of the characters themselves.