Thanks to all (DaddyHoggy, Morag, my ‘lil sis and Michael) who provided feedback. I’m mindful that this blog should end up being a historical trail of how I attempted to get my book published, so rather than edit the original post, I’m putting up a second draft, so people can view how the text changed as a result of feedback. It’s now too long, so suggestions on trimming gratefully accepted! 3rd Draft?
After losing her job, Rebecca Turner has no option but to move back home to her parents. She joins them in a move to the village of Wealdbrook in Kent, where her father takes up a role as Assistant Pastor in a large fundamentalist church. Rebecca is a disillusioned Christian. She is plagued by frequent headaches she believes are caused by stress.
Benjamin Lawrence, a local resident in Wealdbrook, intends to build a science park nearby. He is wealthy as a result of licensing an advanced GPS algorithm. He lives with his sister, Phee, after the death of his wife and children in a car accident around four years previously.
Rebecca attends the new church, becoming a ‘born again’ Christian within weeks. She is warmly accepted by a new circle of friends. Radicalised as a result, she becomes an activist on behalf of the church and aggressively ensures the derailment of Benjamin’s plans, believing them to be anti-Christian.
After being confronted by the local Anglican minister, Julia FitzPatrick, Rebecca discovers that the material she was given about the science park by the Pastor was misleading. Rebecca swallows her pride and, despite being intimidated by Phee, apologises to Benjamin unreservedly. Benjamin eventually accepts her apology. Rebecca’s uncertainty with her church leads her to meet Thomas Wilson, a less fundamentalist member. Thomas notes her headaches and suggests she visits a Doctor.
Rebecca and Benjamin tentatively build a fractious relationship, debating the relative merits of science and religion. Rebecca begins to question her church and faith as a result. Benjamin ponders the emptiness in his own life.
Rebecca helps Julia with some difficulties at the Anglican church, and begins to value her own abilities.
Benjamin asks Rebecca to accompany him to a conference in San Francisco. Rebecca declines, fearing the reaction of her parents and her church, but her work colleagues encourage her to go and she relents when she discovers that Phee is Benjamin’s sister. Thomas also backs her decision. Phee tells Benjamin he is making a mistake in becoming involved with Rebecca.
The Pastor of the church is financially indebted to a property developer, who is funding the church on the agreement that the church blocks certain planning proposals. Rebecca and her father are unaware of this. Thomas and Rebecca are singled out to be excluded from the church as troublemakers.
As Rebecca vocalises her concerns about the church she is ostracised by her Christian friends. She rows with her father over accompanying Benjamin. Benjamin discovers that Rebecca’s headaches have been ongoing since childhood and persuades her to visit a Doctor. She is sent for an MRI scan.
Rebecca and Benjamin travel to San Francisco. After being accused of being a ‘gold-digger’ by a local socialite, Rebecca discovers that Benjamin is far wealthier than she suspected. As the frustrations between them come to a head they are able to finally be honest about their feelings for each other.
During the return trip Rebecca has a crisis of confidence in her Christian faith. On attending her church she is accused of sexual immorality and excluded from membership. In outrage she denies her faith too. She drives away, furious.
The MRI scan reveals that Rebecca’s headaches are caused by an undiagnosed brain aneurysm. This ruptures, causing her to crash her car. Severely injured, she is rushed to hospital by air ambulance. Benjamin abandons a crucial meeting to get to her, ruining his chance to build the science park.
With Rebecca near death, Benjamin resorts to prayer after being confronted by Julia. Rebecca recovers and they reach a balance in their spiritual beliefs. Rebecca takes on the challenge of making the science park a reality, and succeeds, despite not fully recovering from the accident. Rebecca makes her peace with Phee.
Rebecca begins to reconcile with her father. He apologises, revealing he is now dealing with the dire financial situation at the church. Rebecca and Benjamin make plans for their wedding.
Recent Comments